B is for breastfeeding
When I was still pregnant I knew I wanted to breastfeed or BF. Off topic, but I have always been a big chested girl, and I swore if these things did me wrong, I would chop them off. I hunted for a used pump (i know, people say you shouldnt but I did anyways). My mom kept warning me "dont get that stuff, you dont know if you will be able to breastfeed" or "you might be dissapointed"...so then it planted this seed of fear in me that MAYBE I wouldnt be able to BF. Then in my last trimester I started "leaking". It was only a couple drops every week or so but it was enough to be excited.
Fast forward to a few months later. I woke up in the recovery room and immediately asked where my son was. They brought him to me and placed this warm little sleepy man on my bare chest, it was so surreal. They showed him where the boob was and he knew EXACTLY what do do any went t it...I, on the other hand, was clueless.
I spend the next three days trying to get him to latch and getting frustrated because he kept unlatching or it hurt. Everytime a nurse came in they had to show me again and again. On day 2 I asked if I could pump. The lady told me sure, IF I had anything she would store it. she was impressed by what I did have.
Fast forward again, here we are 3 months into it. At 2 months we had a "nursing strike" where he REFUSED to nurse. I was worried he was weaning himself but was told they dont do that at 2 months. It was suggested I nurse topless, nurse while walking around, let him cry it out. I tried all of these individually, then at once. Walking around topless while nursing worked but the moment I sat down he screamed again. I ended up nursing him...in the shower. It was calming and warm and ended up breaking him of his strike! He still occasionally refuses but I just give him his bink, give him a few minutes then try again and he latches right away.
The newest issue I have is him waking up at 2am and screaming until I give him boob, then after he detatches I try to put him back but he immediately wakes up again. He ended up falling alseep on the boob and when I tried to roll over to sleep he screamed again. This went on till 8am...talk about exhaustion!
We have our ups and downs but I know I am doing what is best for my son. I feel so sorry for those ladies who couldnt breastfeed, I got a taste of what they felt and how easy it was to be discouraged when he went on nursing strike. It was only a fraction of what they feel, but it was enough. I plan on BF'ing him until he self weans.