one week

Hello my precious boy. Yesterday you turned a week old. You are wearing preemie clothes still. You love to make squeaking noises. Grandma's nickname for you is "mouse". You get frustrated easy, especially if you are hungry. You opt for screaming in frustration rather than actually eating.

You dont like to lay anywhere without being swaddled and your favorite place is tummy down on my chest. You sleep deeply and for hours there and I love it. I love being able to tilt my head down and kiss the top of your soft head whenever I want. 

We have started giving you the bottle because of your stubborness and frustration issues and this makes you even more reluctant to latch as you can get it easier from the bottle. 

You really like your hands ear your face or gripping things and you get frustrated if your hands or feet are free and flailing...you feel out of control and start crying. Also, You love to be held upright and bounced...it seems to help your bubbly belly.

Oh, and today your plastibell fell off, grandma insisted we keep it....as a momento.

Dear Peanut (well avocado now),


I am still sick and exhausted all the time. I find out what gender you are in 2 weeks, I am hoping this will make me feel closer to you and make you more real to me. Everything is still so surreal. I need to go back and post the ultrasounds from other weeks appointments, I fell behind with the holidays!

Love,
Mommy

Dear Peanut,

I have been so sick lately, which is why i havent posted. You are the size of a prune...

I can't drink milk, so I have switched to almond milk..cause I like my cereal. Sometimes oatmeal is ok and sometimes it's not. Bananas are usually ok, as long as my tummy isn't too full. Pears are a big no-no. Anything too spicy or sweet is a no-no.

SMELLS are the bane of my exisistance right now. I used to love scented candles and melts and would have up to 5 burning....but I have banned them all to the cupboard cause even the slightest whiff of them now gives me nauseus goosbumps.

Sleep is my friend and I have become a professional couch potato. I tire really easy. Move a table...nap. Do the dishes...nap. Bend over to pick something up...well you get the picture. I am an opportunistic napper. "5 minutes you say? I will just lay here and zzzZZZ"

I have seen 2 ultrasounds of you. The first one I brought grandma Barbara (who i might dub GG, for great grandma) and she was totally blown away by your little tiny beating heart at 6 weeks.



Then I brought grandma Lori to your 8 week ultrasound. We saw arm and legs nubs and your heartbeat was faster. Jumped from 120 to 168.


I had a dream about a month and a half ago. There were no images, just a tiny little voice and it said "Sabrina". I think it's your choice of names...so I will honor it. I feel so strongly you are going to be a girl I refer to you as "her" and "she"...i will be amazed if you are a boy (and i might even delete all this "im sure you are a girl" stuff....wouldnt wanna give you a complex)

Love,
Mommy

Dear Peanut, 

Had to take a nap in the car today. I'm sleepy and am feeling sick today. I wasnt able to fall asleep, but while I layed there I imaged you as a baby, and a little girl (you are going to be a girl, i know it...) then a young lady. I see you with dark hair and brown eyes but pale skin like mine. You are going to be smart and spunky. The thought made me happy :)

Love, 
Mommy

Dear Peanut,

You are the size of an orange seed now. You are affecting the way things taste to me. Things that I liked before I can't eat for a while. I am getting more bloodwork to see how you are progressing and trying to find a doctor I like to be with me throughout my pregnancy. Its a hard job! Either way I will get to see you the week of my birthday. I hope you are ok in there <3


Love, Mommy

Dear peanut,

I got up super early today so I could get my bloodwork done to make sure you are really in there. 

But since I am up you are demanding food and making my tummy growl really loud. Knock that off!

Love,
Mommy

Dear Peanut, 


Today I scheduled your first ultrasound. They wouldn't see me until 9 weeks which makes impatient Dece unhappy. On the good side, it falls around the time I tell Grandma Lori about you. I think she will be excited. She hates to admit it, but I think she has wanted you around just as much as I do. 


So the first time I will get to see you is 2 days after my birthday, November 10th...you may only be the size of a peanut but it will mean so much to me. Then on December 8th I will get to hear your little heart beating inside me. I can't even comprehend how that will make me feel. I love you so much already, can't wait to see you.


Love, 
Mommy

Dear Peanut,


I know you are so tiny right now and that terrifies me. I am already afraid to lose you after fighting so hard to get you. People tell me to stay positive, which I am. But honestly, I have no control over the situation. If you decide to go,then thats what happens.


But I would really love for you to stick around, I have so much to show you :)


Love,
Mommy

Dear Peanut. 


Apparently I can't eat peanuts because they are bad for you. I find that ironic.


Love
Mommy


PS- Your daddy is being a jerk today, can I beat him up?

Dear Peanut,


Today you required of me a "kicking coney" dog. Which is a hot dog smothered in chili and chipotle bbq sauce. Then you required I eat 20 spoonfuls of Nutella. It's not nice to make mommy fatter than she already is....or to make me gag as she is eating food YOU enjoy. Be a better bunkmate.


Love,
Mommy

Dear peanut,


Today I spent most of the day on the couch. You are only a bundle of cells yet you are sucking the life out of me with your neediness...ah good times.


Furthermore, do not make mommy yell at Dan in a fit of unwarranted rage. We like Dan, he is our friend.


Love, Mommy