I need a substitute mom. one who calls me once or twice a week to ask how C and I are doing and how i'm progressing. Mine is too preoccupied with other things and people.
I was really hoping for more excitement and involvment given it took me 8 years to get here, but really, I feel pushed out and alone more than ever. It's a horrible feeling and it's really making me hate everyone involved. I'm not even going to try anymore. I was sending picture and video updates which have mainly gone unaswered or unnoticed. When I called on valentines day, I felt like i was interrupting. I'm not sending any more pictures. If she misses out on things she can never get back thats on her, not on me.
C is kicking more often and occasionally doing flip flops in there. Given I can't count on my mom, I have started planning on how I can get myself a crib or playyard. I cant really organize C's corner without some sort of bed in place and i'm tired of waiting around.
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